Where I am from

I am from the womb. I am from a childhood filled with music.

I am from a childhood of Clapton, The Grateful Dead, and Jackson Browne shows.

I am from going to bed and waking up to nightly acoustic jams coming from the different living rooms, and strange places my parents would take me.

I am from long nights around the campfire with my ears honing in on harmonies. Listening with wonder as voices and instruments would weave tapestries around my imagination and soul. From a place where learning the D and the G chord filled me with great ideas and delusions of grandeur. Where the record collection in the house was, that is where you would find me.

I am from a place of childhood chaos and fear. Not knowing what would happen next, or what strange situation my mother would wind up in next. This place was filled with all night drinking, and drug binges I could hear fro m where I slept. A place of loud motorcycles coming and going at all hours of the night, and hearing drums coming from the garage at three a.m.

I am from an adolescence gone astray, where my scholastic success was put on the back burner. A place where I was allowed to use drugs and drink beer with the adults like I was part of their exclusive ranks. I am from a place where at sixteen I was playing in bands with friends of my parents, and being snuck into bars to play gigs with them. This was a place where I was told how much better of a player I was than my father had been. This was a place where I thought I knew more than everyone around me, like I had the secret key, or some hidden formula.

I am from where much joy has been found in playing live music for people. A place of hitting that right moment, on the right night, with that perfect bass and drum groove. This is a place of miles of microphone and speaker cables, and hearing that drunk tell you how great you were tonight. A place where these accolades gave me self-worth instead of filling a selfish ego.

I am from self-destruction, self-doubt, and from constantly putting things inside me to fill up that void. I am from a place where relationships are destroyed because of dishonest actions. I am from a place where the person I lied to the most is always myself. I am from a place where great pain and insurmountable joy can be found in the same breath. These things will always be where I am from.

Mulford Jeremy

Musician/writer Editor at Chariot News.com

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